The Maiden Dinosaur

by Janet McNeill – 1964

If it is difficult to accept middle age, is it harder for those who are no longer beautiful and passionate or, especially harder, for those who have never known love?

Sarah Vincent is fifty and, like her group of friends she is resigned to the absurdities of middle age but over the course of a summer Sarah discovers that life can shatter the past, deeply held faiths are destroyed and she discovers that new beginnings, and new love, have always existed for her.

This one was one I had to think on after finishing. One that kinda stays with you for a while, becomes a better read as you ponder it. Sarah is a plain unattractive single woman. Of all her friends from childhood she is the smart one. She lives in her childhood home which has been divided into apartments, rented out to her childhood friends and their children. Sarah seems to be the stabilizing force in everyone’s lives. They don’t see the demons she deals with. Sarah seems to be accepting of her lot in life as the unloved, unlovely one and focus’ on her teaching, students and poetry for which she has somewhat of acclaim for. It’s a time of change, sexual mores are changing. Sarah and her friends meet once a month for tea and discuss life and the changes in the social fabric. We see the differences through one of her tenants, a young married daughter of one of her childhood friends, and one of her students.

There seems to be a balancing act going on in Sarah’s life, trying to maintain between her starvation for love and acceptance of how it is. She seems to be an important part of her friends lives and yet on the edges at the same time. But there are a couple things that happen near the end that shifts this balance and ┬áSarah’s life changes. In the end I found I really did enjoy this read. Janet McNeill never disappoints!

The Small Widow

by Janet McNeill

img_3856-1back of the book:

Harold’s death leaves Julia a widow, alone and struggling with grief as well as her new life. How can she begin to build new relationships with her friends, what does she now owe to her children, or they to her? For the first time Julia has to learn independence, she needs to discover who she is when she is no longer a wife and is now a mother to children who do not need her. As a widow can Julia find a freedom, an identity, which has never existed in her life before?

Janet McNeill is one of the great writers of the disillusions of middle age, while her wry humor and compassion builds a spare and moving world. Her perceptive and intelligent writing is honest and unflinching in its understanding of the emotional conflicts of family life and the ironies of ordinary life.

After 32 years of marriage Julia is suddenly left a widow at 56. This is a well written story of probably most women’s middle age struggle whether left a widow or not. I enjoyed this and having just turned 60, saw myself in much of it. Although I still have my husband alive and well with me, I could definitely identify with this time of life. Once the kids are grown and out on their own with their own lives, my parents having passed away in the last few years, there is a real internal struggle with ‘who I am’ now that I’m not Mildred’s daughter, and the ‘mom relationship’ so different now that the kids have grown up lives of their own. Even the grand kids are older now and don’t want to spend hours being silly on Skype with me or cry when they have to go home from my house. It’s funny the timing, because it is something I’ve had on my mind and been praying about a lot lately. How can I be useful and contribute now that most of my main ‘uses’ in life have disappeared. How do I shift gears now and maintain a full constructive life? This story was just what the doctor ordered!

There are extended family relations and relationships included and a pretty major family secret that spills out too. Kept me reading, I read it in two days. Good book! I really like McNeill’s writing. Tea at Four O’clock was wonderful too. Hoping I can find more of her books.

Reading Ireland 18

Tea at Four O’Clock

by Janet McNeill

IMG_0397“George had no words… He’d got away… He knew what freedom meant – of the body, sometimes of the mind, occasionally even of the spirit. But Laura didn’t”

For years Laura has nursed her elder sister and deferred to her wishes. Mildred has just died, but her shadow seems to dominate the house. Laura looks back upon her life, recalling the father she disliked and feared, whose reign gave way to Mildred’s tyranny, and her brother George, who left the house in bitterness twenty years earlier. She remembers too her youth, her one bid for independence and its devastating consequences. But Laura is alone now and George’s reappearance signals the freedom before her. To grasp that, Laura must confront not only her own cowardice and self-sacrifice, but also the behavior of those nearest to her. This poignant novel, first published in 1956, lays bare that difficult process by which Laura reclaims her past and discovers the truth about her family.

I LOVED this book. My first read for 2018. I was pulled into Marathon and the lives of the family living there immediately. You are instantly invested in Laura and have to keep turning pages to find out what had happened to her that only Mildred knew and held over her and to see if she finds the freedom to live her own life.

Laura’s sister Mildred was a monster, there’s no other word for her. She held a tight grip on Laura and beat her down with words and looks. I could have strangled her!

Then the business of helping Mildred to bed. How Mildred hated to be helped, and how much she found to criticize in Laura’s service! It would be half-past nine before the ordeal was over, the light adjusted, the extra sleeping-pill laid beside her -“just in case, Mildred, you know the doctor says it will do you no harm”- the hot bottle that had cooled filled again, the window opened, closed, and opened again, and sometimes the clock in the hall would be striking ten before Laura, limp with nerves and smarting under Mildred’s tongue, wracked with pity for the pain her sister must suffer and yet unable to utter one word of compassion, was at last release to find her own way to bed, consoled that at least another day was over.

But Mildred’s dead now, Laura is free. Or is she?

“…It was not Mildred. Mildred is dead. It was Miss Parks.” This deliberate analysis was a help. The small body surrendered a little to the soft bed and the warmth. With the body’s immediate need met, the mind became more active. I knew Mildred was dead, and yet I thought it was Mildred. The reason I thought it was Mildred was because I had been thinking about Tom, and because I had been to see Tom’s son. Mildred Knew. She was the only other person who knew. No, Mildred cannot have known, for Mildred is dead. Her body is dead and her mind is dead. She could not have known. But if she did not know then why did I feel as I did?

Laura’s brother George comes to Marathon to see Laura the day of Mildred’s funeral. He hadn’t been home for over 20 years as his father, nor Mildred, would let him come. He and Laura had a good relationship as children, but it was marred by the critical father and the tyrannical Mildred. Laura is thrilled to see him. Does he want to re-establish his relationship with Laura or does he want her money? Will the family attorney and Miss Parks, Mildred’s friend, let Laura and George sort it out or force George away? I loved seeing the relationship dynamics and secrets between them unravel for good or for bad. A bittersweet story. Well written. Can’t wait to start on another Janet McNeill!